Now Colbert is in da haaaaa-ouse


And by “in da haaaa-ouse,” I of course mean, on the television in my basement as I watch him get introduced by that crazy Ben Franklin impersonation and then produce the harmony (and “bum bums”) for the Star Spangled Banner. Live blogging to follow.

“The Stephen Colbert Doritos, Spicy Sweet, Pennsylvania Primary Coverage from Chili-delphia, the City of Brotherly Crunch” has now begun and the crowd – a full house at the Annenberg Center – is riled up.

Stephen points to the giant map of Pennsylvania (made in China) as proof of his presence. The map is, of course, a testament to Stephen and includes mutant zombies from 3-Mile Island who wandered to Gettysburg to fight Civil War re-enactors.

Stephen introduces Ben Franklin who will be covering the “Election Center” – a parchment map of the colonies that pales in comparison to John King’s magic CNN map.

Now his lightening quick wit is moving way to fast for me to keep up. I’ll just include the video for these segments and concentrate on when he gets to his guests of honor. Updates will follow after the jump.

UPDATE: Due to Philadelphia’s problems with violence, Stephen has hired a body double. Now he’s excoriating Michael Nutter for signing 5 gun laws into place last week as he introduces him to a raucous ovation. Nutter seems to be loving the applause with his waves to the crowd.

Colbert: What are trying to accomplish these anti-gun laws?

Nutter: We don’t like people getting shot in Philadelphia.

Colbert: Isn’t it simpler just to give everyone guns.

Nutter: Haven’t really thought about that.

Colbert: You want more time to think about it?

Nutter: No.

Colbert: Aren’t these laws violating state laws? Why should criminals follow the law if you’re not?

Nutter: Everyone has a right not to be shot.

Colbert: You’re supporting Senator Clinton (pictures of Clinton), do you think she’d want to be linked with your anti-gun position?

Nutter: This is a local issue.

Colbert: Why Hillary?

Nutter: Experience.

Colbert: I’m being told by the press that Pennsylvania will decide this election. Do you think this state should have that power?

Nutter: Yes.

And just like that, Mayor Michael Nutter’s 2 minutes in the glow of Colbert has come to an end. Stay tuned for more updates.

UPDATE: And now comes Chris Matthews. How will this go?

Chris Matthews is represented in photographic form as a baked potato. Colbert takes issue with Matthews’ claim that he gave Obama a bump, reserving the ability to give “bumps” for himself.

Colbert: Do you think Obama thrown this thing away with his “bitter” comment?

Matthews: I thought the over-under was 8 points, now it’s 10.

Colbert: How do you please a ward leader?

Matthews: Gotta give them street money – about 200 bucks per division.

Colbert: “I am like a ward boss for America’s youth. Would you [motioning to crowd] vote as I told you?” (raucous cheers)

Colbert: Your show is Hardball but Obama did an hour on your show and he won’t come on mine. I clearly swing a harder ball.

Matthews: You’ve got Hillary Clinton coming on, don’t you?

Colbert: Thanks for blowing our surprise, Chris.

Colbert: Are you running for Senate in 2010? (To crowd) Will you make your announcement on this show.

Matthews: Did you ever want to be something, other than this, in your life? When I was a kid, I wanted to be a senator. There’s a difference between being a celebrity and working for the people. But you serve the people. You get them to go to bed early at night.

Colbert: Sir, you put me to bed at 6:30 one night. (Raucous approval from the crowd again).

End of interview.

I don’t know but that sounded awfully like Matthews really does want to run against Specter in 2010. Maybe I should consider getting back into politics and jumping on board to take another shot at good ole Snarlin’ Arlen. Matthews’ non-denial will be the news takeaway of the evening. Everyone set your Google News search to “Chris Matthews” and “senate”!!!


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