‘Ron Paul wins’ and other headlines you won’t read tomorrow

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ron-paul.jpgWell, you’re likely being inundated with news coverage, a large percentage of which is arguably needless – this blog excluded, of course – so I thought I would go another route.

As the polls close in the east coast as 8 p.m. marches westward, I’ll share a selection of some headlines you won’t read in tomorrow morning’s newspapers.

“Hillary Clinton courts conservative voters”

“Bill O’Reilly votes in New York Democratic primary early”

“California Democrats embrace Ralph Nader”

“Huckabee claims victory; anoints Chuck Norris as running mate”

“Victory only less surprising than terse victory speech by John Kerry”

“Ron Paul calls for more government agencies”

“Kucinich endorses McCain for Iraq policy”

“Somebody cares about Pennsylvania’s April primary”

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